There’s no doubt that many people feel the pressure to get married at some point in their life. Many of us just view it as the next step in our relationships. While there isn’t anything to punish us if we don’t take the plunge, it can still feel like we are wasting time or failing when a relationship doesn’t lead to marriage.
For women, this is especially true. There is a lot of pressure on women to get married, even in today’s enlightened age. As you can probably imagine, at some point, that pressure starts to impact relationships. How can you be completely present in a relationship when there is a lot of pressure on you to define whether it is leading to marriage? This is something many women struggle with.
If you’ve ever wondered why women feel the pressure to get married, below are five of the top reasons that might be causing it.
For some women, alarms start to go off in their minds when their friends are starting to get engaged or married. There is the feeling among some ladies that they don’t want to be the only one left online dating when everyone else is happy with their significant other. It boils down to feeling the pressure to keep up with friends, so they don’t get left behind.
They may see the writing on the wall. These women may start to think that the new engagement or proposal will mean that their friends will have less time to spend with them. Once they start to go down that rabbit hole, it could lead to glimpses of a future that is filled with loneliness and boredom. It certainly increases the pressure of finding someone that is marriage material.
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you may have been asked by a parent when you were going to marry your partner and have children. Not only do your parents want to have the feeling that you are settled in life with someone you love, but they also want to enjoy all the benefits that come with being a grandparent.
There are many reasons why parents may pressure a woman to get married. It might be a religious reason or the feeling that it is what you are “supposed to do.” In other cases, it might be excitement about wanting to take part in the next big step in your life. For a woman who is close to her family, it can lead to a lot of pressure. She doesn’t want to disappoint those closest to her.
Pressure from parents and other family members may lead the lady in your life to start discussing the topic of marriage sooner than you had expected. Families still have a lot of sway in many of our lives, even when we are adults.
You and your partner may have only started dating months ago, but if it is going well, the female part of the couple may have already been asked by people in her life if her boyfriend was potentially, “the one.” While sometimes people have great feelings early on about a partner, it isn’t always that easy. Both of you might be very focused on your careers, or you believe in taking things slowly. Chances are, she may start to hear her friends and family start to talk to her about “settling down.”
While some of these comments may be jokes, it may cause the woman to feel a little pressure. Some women report feeling a definite push to get married by hearing questions about settling down. While it is true that many of these questions come from a different era, they still have an impact. When people were concerned about settling down young, there weren’t any marriages from online dating. Despite this fact, millennials still report the most pressure to get married.
While it is important to remember that you don’t have any obligation to settle down on anyone else’s timetable, it would be unrealistic to not address the issue with a girlfriend who is currently feeling those pressures.
In some cultures, marriage is held in high regard. It is expected at a certain time in your life. Despite a changing world, some cultures are very rigid with these expectations. If you are a woman who is from a culture that holds marriage sacred, you may feel the pressure to be married much sooner than your partner would expect.
Marriage occurs much younger in Middle Eastern culture than it does in America, for example. Someone dating someone from that culture may find that marriage is stressed much earlier on in the relationship. A woman from a place where marriage is culturally significant is probably feeling a lot more stress than a counterpart where it isn’t a big deal. Canadian and American people are more often reporting that marriage isn’t a big priority for them. The same can’t be said for the rest of the world.
There’s no doubt that there is pressure on women to get married, even in Western culture. If you’re an engaged woman you may be feeling it for many reasons. One of the big drivers is fertility. Many women are worried about getting too old to have children. It increases the pressure to find the right partner. After all, there is a finite window for women to be able to reproduce, unlike men, so it makes sense that this would be on your mind.
Marriage is also idealized in all of the media represented in this country. There is a not-so-subtle message being given that marriage is the key to happiness. Some might even say that the message might read that a relationship can’t be sustainably happy without marriage. Logically, we know this not to be true, but the pressure isn’t about logic. If you see the same message represented in films, television, music, and books, it gets very hard to ignore.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a great way for people to share and grow their love, but it isn’t the only way. Many unions can go on being incredibly loving and everlasting without needing a marriage certificate. Also, with half of the marriages ending in divorce, there is proof that it is no guarantee of bliss.
While there is a lot of pressure on any girl to get married, it doesn’t mean that you have to give in to it. It should be your own choice. Honesty and clear communication about your wants and desires is a great way to keep your relationship healthy and free from these pressures.
Photo by Gabby Orcutt on Unsplash