Love Letters for an ideal dating life

Avoid These 5 Toxic Relationship Habits

Like many, I have often heard the quote, “Love is like a pot of gold, hard to get and hard to hold,” in songs and poems. For the longest time those words made me wonder, which is harder, getting love or holding on to it. No artist, poet, and not even the Leprechaun himself has offered any clues to answer that question. However, finding love a time or two in the past has taught me that if I spend the time to recognize and avoid the characteristics of toxic relationship habits early on, I could have my heart desires for a healthy, loving, and compatible romantic relationship.

love abuse

Knowing the characteristics of a toxic relationship is key to breaking habits before things get out of hand or go too far. Toxic relationships are often characterized by jealously, dominance, control, possessiveness, manipulation, and more toxic habits that can come from either person in a relationship.

There are many reasons why people get or stay in toxic relationships. With online dating websites use skyrocketing, there are lots of opportunities for a person to hide some of the red flag-bad habits that they bring to relationships. However, below are five toxic relationship habits that should be avoided or nipped in the bud immediately if your goal is a successful relationship, whether meeting in person or trying online dating.

#1 Lack of Trust

There is more to a romantic relationship than love. If you are with someone who you do not believe has your absolute best interest at heart and you feel like you always must check behind, you lack trust and are in a toxic relationship. You may not believe that your lack of trust is a toxic habit but in a relationship it very much is. If you or your partner lack trust, no amount of love, respect, or honor is going to make your toxic relationship work. For more information on lack of trust in a relationship, read

#2 Need to Control

Having a mate plan a surprise weekend getaway, going through the work of selecting a hotel where you two will stay, make dinner reservations at a romantic restaurant is sweet, astounding, amazing, and remarkable. But if that mate is choosing your clothing, deciding what you will order from the menu, or regulating the amount of time you spend on the phone with friends, among other things, he or she is controlling and you are in a toxic relationship. Controlling or being controlled is a toxic habit to avoid for a healthy relationship.

#3 Need to Separate You from Your Past

Isolation is a lonely place. It not only takes you out of your comfort zone, isolation also forces you to depend solely on who is available to you. That is the plan of a toxic person, separate you from your past which compels you to rely solely on them. They work hard to take you away from friends and family or anyone who may get a peek inside your relationship and judge its toxicity. You do not have to leave your past to have a healthy, successful relationship.

#4 Lack of Boundaries

Boundaries are important in all relationships, both personal and professional. There are several types of boundaries in romantic relationships - physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries. Setting boundaries is imperative and ignoring boundaries is toxic. Accepting boundaries is a sign of respect, maturity, and mutual love.

#5 Lack of Dependability

Dependability in a relationship is a dynamic that relates to accessibility, accountability, and reliability. I need to know that I am as important to you as you are to me with my mate. That does not mean being demanding, it means being there for me as you know I am there for you. I am not talking about a beck-and-call relationship. Being dependable means do not go ghost on me physically or emotionally and I will be present for you in those ways as well.

Avoiding these five toxic habits will give you a good foundation to a healthy, loving, romantic relationship. For more information on toxic relationship habits to avoid, please check out “11 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Completely Toxic” .

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash